xintian is unmotivated.

that's why she's here.

she ought not be here,

but she is.

therefore, actions to rectify the situation has been carried out.

xintian has found her priorities,

her true delight in studies.

thus, she is no longer

here.

flowers after a rain are the brightest, cheeriest, prettiest. flowers are lovely, and so are their names! periwinkles and gardenias fresh and light as bread; african violets, bluebells, marigolds and saffrons sh immering dashes of colours; dahlias, daffodils and dandelions bright chiming alliterating; nosegays and nightshades, stars of bethlehem and laurestines rolling off your lips like lyrics of a woood-sprite's song.

then of course some must go and get themselves clunky names. Imagine, you tell people you've got flowernames for your children: Hortensia, Pongpong and Elastic Momordica. one can almost imagine frumpy girls sweating in hiked-up ultrafrilly gowns. "Name's Elastic Momordica! just call me EL MOMO for short!"

tsk, tsk.

this time, research on corruption. unknowingly, actually. read about aaron and the golden calf, then was reading dorian gray, and then somehow it all linked and jumped out at me: How to Corrupt A Man in 2 Scenes. which was all i had, see.

and i thought, how could aaron have done that? i must have read this passage a thousand times, but i must have been blind the other 999 times, cos this was the only time i registered that it was AARON who'd offered and instructed them to build a golden calf to worship. like, of all people! when he was supposed to have been by moses' side for so long, and was God's chosen priest and all. all along i'd thought that the israelites had spontaneously organised themselves (display of non-governmental social self-organisation; admirable) and gathered all the gold and then made the calf. but no, aaron SUGGESTED it to them! i was frankly appalled.

then dorian gray, which started out so pretty and interesting and endearingly innocent. and then once you get sucked in so slowly before you know it you're at the deep end of the pool, and then you remember that you can't swim. it was rather freaky, really. the blurb being: "this is a story of moral corruption, although not shocking by the standards of the late twentieth century". but it's worse than shocking, it's insidious! it does to one what corruption did to dorian gray, taking over one's senses surreptitiously. how sneaky, i should say! anyway i was so freaked out (and it was night-shadows-time) i had to stop reading for a while, to recover.

corruption is indeed scary, cos it is so unpredictable and animal. will animals be corrupt? or is what we call corruption a release of restraint over our civilised self? sm told me, in the process of exerting control over another, one loses control of oneself. soi-meme.